The why can be expressed in one word, discouragement.
Going by my exprience people like me don’t handle discouragement well. Put up a barrier and I have problems. Bad equipment is a barrier, snotty attitudes are a barrier, lack of funding is a barrier. And people like me are not really equipped to deal with barriers and discouragement.
Then you have social workers who have no understanding of what you’re going through. A young man for instance who insists that your autism can’t be a problem because he is incapable of understanding how it could be a problem.
Folks, don’t discourage, encourage, it aint gonna kill you. The more people succeed at a beneficial task the better the world is going to be, and the better your world is going to be. Remember that the success of others in a task that brings benefits is no threat to you.
I have come to the conclusion that the difference between science fiction and fantasy is that in science fiction matters can be understood, while in fantasy matters can not be understood.
Now the understanding need not be perfect, in fact any understanding is most likely to be imperfect, but at the least one can come rather close. But when understanding is not possible you’re pretty much stuck.
This of course has consequences. Such as when a story has science fictional trappings, but the reader has no real way to understand how things work. When such is the case the story is fantasy.
By the same token, when a story has fantasy trappings, but the reader can to some extent understand what is going on and how things work on a scientific basis, the tale is science fiction.
I mention this because after some reading and thinking I have come to the conclusion that the Ærth of Mythus is a science fiction setting in so far as it can be understood scientifically, even though it exhibits characteristics of fantasy.
I’ve got news for you, you have a responsibility for your own life, in as far as you can be responsible. Open your eyes and ears and pay attention, dammit. Above all, stop ignoring what’s going on around you. You don’t have to always interact with others, but you can keep on top of what’s going on.
That’s about as far as I remember, but I do remember the gist; your fear isn’t you. Your fear is only a transient emotion that will pass. You are not your fear, when your fear passes you will be left and what once stressed you so will be gone.
I’m autistic, a high functioning autistic by still autistic. Things can get to be too much for my and I will have—as we call them—melt downs. Being terrified for no reason you can see is frightening, I wouldn’t recommend it.
Take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and let yourself relax. Find yourself a quiet place and just chill. And should some belligerent soul approach you just say, “May I help you?”. And always remember the words of the old rabbi who once said, “Be kind to those who persecute you, it’ll piss them off.”